Shadowrun Fifth Edition

"[url=http://www.shadowrunrpg.com/wordpress/?p=15 schrieb:

srrpg.com[/url]"]FanPro Announces Shadowrun, Fifth Edition!

In consideration of the feedback we’ve received for the still-unreleased Shadowrun, Fourth Edition, we’ve decided to go ahead and announce our plans for an upgrade to the SR4 rules set, to be released in September 2005. This magical new edition will somehow fix everything wrong with the game without actually changing anything about it! All illustrations will also be anatomically correct! In addition, we will compile all of the advanced rules material and include it in the core rulebook, so you’ll have it all in one place: at 800 pages, the $150 cover price is a bargain! And with this 10-pound brick in your hand, your players will think twice before arguing with the gamemaster again! As a special bonus, we’ll even throw in a limited edition piece of orichalcum we recovered from the secret FASA vaults. And if you don’t stop playing SR1, SR2, SR3 and SR4 as soon as we release it, we’ll hunt you down and kill you.

Oh, and did we mention it will be D20?

Das klingt doch schonmal sehr vielversprechend!

Äh, nein, falsch...

... $150!

Es gibt auch schon die ersten Playtest Notes:

"Bull" schrieb:

1. Will it be D20?

Yes.

2. But you said D20 gives you cancer!

It does.

3. So what you're saying is, you want to give your fans cancer?

In a nutshell, yes. We hate you whiney little bitches, and have been trying to figure out a way to get rid of you for years. Hell, we've changed editions 4 times previously, fucking with the rules every time. Even having a wonked out diceless system in 4E didn't drive you schmucks away, so this time we hedged out bets.

We figure that we'll lose about 30-40% of our customer base by switching to D20. good riddence! We also figure we'll lure in about 30-40% of the D20 fanbase, since they're willing to buy any steaming pile of shit with a D20 logo on it. Then, we give them all cancer! Not only do we get rid of our fans, but we also take out a sizable chunk of the competitions fanbase as well! Win win for everyone!

4. But how will you make money, if you have no fans?

Make money? In the gaming industry???

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!

We'll make more money busking on the street corner with our guitars than we do as game designers and freelancers. And the smelly homeless guy we'll share our corner with still smells better than your average Gamer, and getting hassled by the cops is far more pleasent than getting accousted by fanboys pissed that we nerfed their favorite... whatever.

5. But... Don't you love us anymore?

Baby, we never loved you in the first place. We only loved your doggy style. Now go make me some breakfast before we have to bitch slap your sorry, lazy ass.

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